9 - Developmental Stages and Social Interactions
All people go through certain developmental stages. These can happen at different ages and if we don’t achieve one that’s ok because we can work on it later in life. Some developmental stages are related to social interactions and relationships. Blocks in our own developmental stages make it hard to connect with others at times. This is completely normal. Part of life is practicing social interactions and then learning from how they went. Sometimes things get in the way of us mastering a stage. Traumatic experiences, too much stress or too much discomfort for example. These things can interfere temporarily but we always have the chance to work through them more later. Today’s journaling is about some of the ways we interact around social developmental stages. Please write about the following questions:
Journaling:
In general do you feel comfortable in social situations? What parts are difficult? What things are easy?
Is it easy for you to express yourself? What moments or situations are more difficult? Does the amount of people around make a difference? Is there anything you can do to make it feel more comfortable? Do those things ever backfire and cause problems?
Do you feel the experiences of altered states make it harder to interact with others? Do these things increase when you are around others? Lessen around others?
Are you able to be alone without having anxiety? Do you worry you will lose the relationships you have? Does being alone feel scary or overwhelming?
Is it easy to speak up for yourself when you are upset or offended? What things get in the way of that? Do other family members seem to have a similar issue? Do you try other ways of expressing yourself at a later point?
How do you respond to others who are angry? Does it shut you down? Are you able to stay calm on the inside? On the outside? What helps you stay calm when others are upset?
What is it like when you are angry? Are you able to talk comfortably or does it become difficult to express?
Do you feel able to set boundaries when you want others to treat you differently? Are you able to clearly express your needs? Do others listen and respect that? If the boundary is crossed, are you able to enforce your needs again? Do they then listen and respect it?
When you feel uncomfortable do you get quiet or tend to fill the space?
Are you able to use outlets for when you feel overwhelmed or do you tend to hold it in? Are there people around you that you can vent to about frustrations, disappointment or anger? Do you feel like you have a safe place to discuss emotions?
How does your family respond to these situations? Which of these stages might be helpful for family to work on? Which might be helpful for you to work on?
If you feel like any developmental stages have not been worked through, what do you think got in the way? What do you feel could be done to address these things now?
Changing our focus:
Take a few minutes and notice any sounds around you. Notice if they are neutral sounds or things that impact your mood or stress. Notice others that are softer and maybe didn’t stand out initially. How does it feel to just keep noticing what you hear instead of stopping and staying focused on one thing? Does it feel different if you close your eyes vs keeping them open? Notice that you can potentially hear things much farther away than you can see them. Please also notice what sounds you are making. Can you hear your own breathing or your heartbeat? All of these things allow us to be in the moment and not stay in our thoughts as much. Allow yourself to enjoy the sounds for as long as you like and if any are especially enjoyable perhaps remind yourself of them later to remember the enjoyment even though it has passed.